Note to Myself:

- Why is it that you're so cool with having just being nice and all smiley around people? How can you do that when you no you're not okay?!

- People will then expect to always see you the smiley & happy girl.-

- I've still to be strong no matter how much i complaint or rant about the things that is going on.

- I'm just being immature now, so seriously..to myself..PLEASE grow UP.

- I should learn how to stand on my own 2 feet,

- No matter how harsh reality is, i gotta just face the music.

Dear,

I'm probably just acting immature now, i need your advice... i'm just simply unhappy with work, probably just unhappy that i have to work 6 days a week, if sales target is not hit. Probably if you're still around, i won't be so upset, cause i'll bet you knock lots of senses into me. I feel like getting another job, many telling me to try stay for a while, get the experience then run away. Even though i'm so tempted...i always keep in mind..at least a year...no matter what a year... You will always have a way...to made me treasure what i have and make good of whatever i have before i get something better. I don't know... but all i know, you'll be able to make me feel much more better... Dear, i've not gotten your cheque yet...Mdm N..hasn't prepared yet? i don't know.. i just feel like it's a sucky tuesday. Btw, just to let you know..you have "Team 110" to keep an eye on me... to make sure that i behave and not looking/making friends with any other Tom, Dick or Harry... Though it's only...Cind who's the president and VIP membership of the club... bluek! I wonder, are you that lovable & popular @ AE..hmm.... i've lots of things on my mind, it's getting really heavy.. i'll be fine.. As long as i'm not alone i'll be fine... Can i be frank with you? I actually do not have the appetite for meals..or i refuse to eat at all...at the most i'll just have something to provide me the energy that will last me for the day... but to stop people from thinking that i'm not okay, and let them know that i'm fine..and normal..i just stuff whatever i could... most times...i would really feel like vomitting all back out.. I miss you feeding me, reminding me to finish my food, and then act all fierce on me..so i'll give in and finish my food. Have i cross your mind today? i hope i did... i miss your pampering... i'm not allowing anyone besides my gf/family to pamper me... One more thing, you'll probably be mad...after work i didn't go home straight, just needed to calm my mind down..so i went NP alone..walk around alone...mPhosis was having sale..so i took a look around alone... just me, myself & i.. i know you don't like me to hang around alone..but i got home by 9? I seriously don't like to be alone..but i just feel like i need to just walk around... and Dear, there was a mini make-up sale! Remember how when we're at taka... you purposely make me walk pass those cosmetics shop..and i will be trying to avoid eye contact at all cost... and you were trying to pull me in... hmm.. I think i'm missing you too much... at least time is passing right. I just want to be near to you, or for now..i just want to be near your heart & soul, therefore please keep me close.

Thoughts of you fills my soul,

Nur Hida Sulaiman