Dear,
This will be totally random, and i think it's a bit cheeky, prasan, shiok-sendiri of me... I'm like in my own wonderland... Today, i followed mummy rango go wedding..as usual.. then the wedding happen to take place at a Community Centre... & guess what naturally pops into my mind? The random convo we had on May 15, the day before you left...and you were sending me home...and we were discussing about a really really random topic... Remember? You randomly said you wonder how's your wedding will be? You were wondering how many people will attend...how many of your bike clan will be there... and then if your clan were making too much noise..how your family of police officers will settle the issue with a snap of the finger in case there was any complaint made... and we were guessing the amount of guests that we have to invite...and you were like no..not much people... and then you turn the topic to me..saying that..bet i will have more guests...due to the fact that i'm the only girl in the family! I then remind you..that you're the oldest son!! bluek! You came up with a simple solution and that it to hold your wedding at a community centre and i went rambling of how small a community centre would be... okay..i feel shy...here i am in my own wonderland in my own world of imaginations..and yet i'm expressing it all out here...but i remembered how long that convo last... i think i got too shy or too excited or in fact too scared... that i concluded..it's still too far away for me...savings hasnt even started yet.. wanted to save so much for school..but have not done so... lol! You were then nagging at me..to start saving..even if it;s $100/mth..better than nothing..in a yr..i'll still get 1 k...after that you started telling me again..to take care of myself..and make sure that i behave.. bla bla bla...bluek! But i am behaving kay.. Wondering if you are..? hmm.. oh ya! Forgot to tell you one thing..yesterday me work right...then s-jiejie oso came..and her bf was waiting for her! hehe..i smiled & laugh to myself! so yea! You're all mine now! bluek! minus 1 admirer for you kay! It's another work day for me, tomorrow, i've been having better sleep...i was able to be able to be tired enough to not think of anything...and just doze off. The usual, i miss you, i miss you taking care of me..& pampering me and paying extra attention to me,,,randomly even though ain't hungry, i'm having maggi cup now...recalled how you will prepare it for me..& keep reminding me that it's hot...when you saw my piggy face...and how hungry i look.. bluek! Conlusion: everything i do everywhere i go..got traces and memories of you. bluek! But i still think at least you'll be glad to know that i'm behaving okay...! Dear, it's abang's birthday tmr! He's taking leave till tuesday though, hmm...i don;t know what to get/prepare for him.. but i guess i'll figure something out. Okay, i've been googling..i don't know what;s wrong with me..but i think you're be able to be back by feb right? or end of this year...i tink feb though? but if it;s end of this yr i'll be more than ECSTATIC!!! But that is if you;ve been behaving...if not.. i don;t know..i don;t want to give myself false hopes niway... though i really wonder if you will actually be back for me...i'll keep pondering and i guess i will only know when the time comes... take care please.
i realised a ___ truth today. habit is back. remember..please..remember..
at times, i feel as if i laid myself out on the chopping board for yall to happily chop me up into pieces... a few whom i need to be there for, i will. i realised and learn who is who actually.
A reminder...not to be taken for granted.
Missing your hugs as usual,
Nur Hida Sulaiman.
