This time i'm actually proud to say..i'm back..stronger... I'm not gonna acknowledge myself the past month, cause i was so weak..so fragile..so NOT ME. Even if it's just a front, i am way better than that. Come on felines, try being bitchy to me now...you'll see what happen. Remember, there's always someone better than you out there, so there's definitely a better bitch out there! So just sit down & smile, you won't die by smiling... As i pick myself up, along they way, i manage to dig up secrets that ain't mine but will be of my concern as soon as one of my loves get hurts, cause that's when you actually wish that you were actually smart enough to treasure her. I ain't no love guru, nor love expert, i fell hard, really hard, nobody pick me up. I pick myself up. But i know when my girls get hurt, this time you'll get hurt too, cause i know who is your haters, and my oh mine...your haters love me!!! I'm giving you a chance here, but that ain't mean that you don't have to try hard to impress, cause here i am saying you better try twice as hard. I'll be nice.
In certain terms i'm pretty unsettled, but my mind is cleared. My heart is cleared. My emotions are balance.
I learnt things the hard way, the one way that i don't want any of my loves to go through as it's the worst ever... It's like i fell down into a well, & that only one that could save me is not on earth, the rest of my lifelines are just not in used somehow. Which is kinda hurting and super surprising, i guess i thought as much as i'll be there for people, they could one day just be there for me.
But i guess, at times what goes around does not come around...
It's okay at least my conscious is clear, i know i did my part...
I realised how harsh reality can be....
How i was ignorantly be used, but even when i knew i gave way...
All cause i wanna be there... All cause i don't want them to feel alone...
If you find me different, good, cause i prefer me now...
This time don't say i'm being harsh, take it as whatever you gave me, i'm returning it to you for real.
It's like how you wanna demand respect, you gotta first serve and earned that same kinda respect.
Life got onto me, life catch up to me,
As much as i don't wanna, at least i'll try to adapt.
I'll be no bitch if you stop behaving like one.
This time girl, i mean it. I really do.
Signing off,
Nur Hida Sulaiman.
