The truth, i'm really numb now... I've lost track of how many days you've been gone...till you'll be back. Sometimes i think to myself, am i deceiving myself, cause when i try to keep track of my own feelings i feel so much hurt... I never felt this hurt before... Cause i felt that we were true.. But i'm a a random moment when i feel that probably it's all in my own head... Or then i thought your actions prove otherwise.. maybe it's again all on my part.. the day when i saw you..the look in your eyes... when you told your mom that you wanted to see me... when you ask your bro to ask/remind if i did write to you... cause YOU were waiting... i don't know.. I'm putting so much hope till october..i'm trying to withstand time..and hopefully you'll cure me... or just let me break in to pieces, that i'll pick myself up. Now, i can't do anything...cause you ain;t here with me..i don't wanna judge..neither do i wanna let go that chance of our irritating relationship... Cause that's how much i care..Knowing me, i would never let myself be so emotionally fragile..cause i would always protect myself..i never wanted to be weak..i never wanted to be that girl who got hurt and then refuse to love again.. Yes, probably i'm insecured.. But with you... i let all my emotions through, cause i just felt that it's right.. being with you felt right... Am i just a girl who manage to innocently fall in love with a guy? Is it meant to be? You tell me..? i'll wait till then...
the worst scenario would be..i'll probably crash and burn...but at least from there i'll pick myself up..
Now i'm hanging all by myself..taking in all my nonsense crap.. As much as i wanna pour my hearts out to someone... all i need is you... Therefore i'm keeping whatever to myself.. i guess you could roughly know how much pain and how much sorrows i'm in? Sound pretty drama? Oh well... you'll understand when the time comes...
you're the only one that i want...
Nur Hida Sulaiman signing off....
