Berikan cintamu juga sayangmu
Percaya padaku ku kan menjagamu
Hingga waktu menjemputku
Ku berikan cintaku juga sayangku
Percaya padaku ku kan menjagamu
Hingga waktu menjemputku
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/u/ungu/percaya_padaku.html ]
Saat ku tahu kau akan pergi jauh
Izinkan aku tuk selalu menantimu
Untuk katakan ku ingin dirimu (ingin dirimu)
Agar kau tahu betapa ku terlalu
Mencintaimu aku akan menunggu
Hingga dirimu kembali untukku
Dear,
Can i really trust you to come back? Am i holding on to false hope? I'm not losing faith, it's just that being human, i'll always wonder if i would ever get the ending that i/we want. Or have i been fooled and just expects a miracle... You're stuck in my mind, and my heart always craves for your warmth, it's been really cold lately. I know i didn't update for two days, i tried so hard to fill my days, i really do, cause instead of thinking of you...99.9% of the time, i want to try to cut it down to maybe like 75%, i don't know.. i'm really just wondering if you feel the same, and probably you're wondering too what's on my mind and in my heart, cause for now there's simply no way to let each other know how we really feel. Traces of you is simply conquering my mind, i would always keep you in mind... On friday...i went for a MOVIE DATE with...my..BRO!!! Hehe, i watch Kung Fu Panda with him, ABG wanted to go out for dinner, but told him i can't, and when i told him why..he didn't believe me when i say i'm meeting my bro for dinner.. There's one things he said which i'm not agreeable to though, and in fact, i felt stupid cause i do not know at all of your well-being and at times i admit i do doubt if i ever cross your mind. As time goes, paranoia plays around with my emotions. He said to me, "adik, move on adik, move on sudah..it's not a short duration..." As much as i know it's a long duration, as much as i want to get rid of missing somebody so much, instead of acting 120% strong, when i'm actually only 60% strong, as much as i refuse to answer anybody's questions about you, as much as i want to spill to my gfS & bfS about you, as much as i want to share the happy times i had with you, as much as i want you back, as much as i want to move on in fact... i always thought of the "WHAT IFs", in both a positive and negative way. One thing for sure, if you happen to NOT want me anymore, YES i'll be hurt, but i know for sure, i probably just roll around for a while and then MOVE ON, cause i know how i should NOT to keep someone in mind if he does not treasure me... But if you all this while had the INTENTION to CLAIM ME back and yet i didn't wait, i know how much i'll regret, i know how i'll break into a million pieces. But i guess a huge part of me just want to know how are you and have i ever cross your mind.. Cause i feel as if i'm doing this on my own... it takes 2 hands to clap right? Again probably you're suffering more than me, i'm sorry i i ever doubt you.. again..it's paranoia... Remember how you'll always told me, that it's better to hear things from each other mouth personally, then to hear from others, it's better if we would just be straight with each other about what we feel and keeps NO secrets. Conclusion, the usual, i'm a MESS and i watch Kung Fu Panda 2 with my bro.
Dear, alhamdullilah, i close one Bkk-Pattaya yesterday, i was clear about things, then as more questions being asked, i got the answers... but as more in depth question being asked, even google didn't help.. For a simple transaction a lot of clarification and and doubts had to be answered and cleared. I still have pax queries to answer, i still have two potential clients emails which i've not answered also... Conlusion i spent 1 whole day yesterday, cracking my head, finding answers for 1 Bkk-Pattaya transaction. My athena was a mess as in the remarks..etc...got really weird request.. Then after work, i was a happy girl again, met my mummy, uncle and cuz for dinner. Had dinner at Mad Jack over at town, the whole way reminded me again of YOU, cause i remembered that's where we walk when we went over to REX for the first time with abang.., I had lamb chop and AGAIN i recalled how YOU reminded me to eat with my RIGHT hand.. :P After dinner head to somerset, to walk around..and we just had to be cineleisure, out LAST DINNER DATE & OUR FIRST NEOPRINT, was there...bluek! I feel so dramatic at times... i bought really cheapo earrings at the shoe right outside Pastamania, and then i head up, to buy a VANS shoes, i was tempted to get another pair of heels & bags, but then again i was not in the mood. I'm going NUTS.
At times i feel as if i tried too hard, to just show people that i'm fine & happy, as much as i miss you, i ain't depress. But i don't need people to worry about me, but it will be best if YOU worry about me as that proves i've cross your mind.
ALL I WANT IS YOUR HUGS AND JUST BEING YOURS,
Nur Hida Sulaiman
