It used to be so much easier to numb myself and be strong. But all i'm doing now is acting strong, i don't know how long i can continue doing so. When frankly, all i want to do is faint, at least it'll save me the feeling of pain & torture and time will pass me by without even me knowing.
I'm so weak without you, you used to say i'm the light of your foundation.... how am i suppose to even stand without my foundation...
It's a work day tmr, tell me how...how am i suppose to survive... Dear, i really don't know what to do... i hope my tears will dry up soon, but at this rate & at this state, tell me how.. i know it's hurting you too. I'm already missing you so much.
You're my strength, you still are...and you will always be. So whatever work tips you gave me, i'll remind myself to make use of it. I'm gonna miss seeing "110" intercom my phone.
I keep telling myself i'll be fine, i know i will be. As for you Dear, i will be strong and keep myself strong. I may be emotionally weak, but i'll still take care of myself, just for you. I apologise to anyone whom i made so worry about me.
Currently i'm hating enclosed areas so much as i'll feel like i can't breathe... really difficult to breathe.
I love you Mohd Fadli Ibrahim. Till we return to each other arms, tonight let the full moon keeps us company. Every step i take, every move i made, has you on my mind & in my heart. I hope it's the same for you too.
WHY THE PAIN HAS TO BE FELT PHYSICALLY AND NOT ONLY MEANT LITERALLY...? MY HEART HURTS SO BAD...REALLY DOES... I'M TOO WORRIED FOR YOUR WELL-BEING...
Signing off,
Nur Hida Sulaiman
