Dear, I think i'm turning numb soon, numb to anything else but you. I'm not forgetting you and i've no intention to do so. I've so much to tell you...and it's only day 3. Remember you told me to be good and not be naughty? I told Cinderella that, and she agreed with you..she told me to be good..and she says she too will keep her eye on me to make sure that no other Tom, Dick or Harry come my way! One more thing you'll be thrill to know that she think we're the same age! BTW she still wants an invite to our wedding, insya-allah, haha...she's like paving the future for us. I remember the day when abang ask you, "when nak nikah?" and you stared at me...but you still understood what's on my mind. All that could came out of my mouth was.."i'm not even 21, if nikah still need parents to sign for me..no fun" But ONLY YOU knew what's on my mind. I'm a bad PA, Dear, remember your Bali issue? The one that's on the waiting list, i guess i was too weak, i could not handle it..so in the end...Mr P took it...but i still told Abang to take over at least one... I'm sorry i didn't took over any. I'm too weak. I've already cleared all the toys from your table and transferred to mine. At first..S-jiejie wanted to move me there...i was thrilled at first, but then i realise how much drama can go on there, and i don't think i'll be able to take it...i didnt say anything though. Then soon after, i heard your sayang D and S-jiejie moving someone else there, i was kinda more appeased but still jealous..cause there's traces of you there. Then again...i'm always jealous? Truetruetrue! I went lunch alone... i just went Mac @ OG... i didnt had any appetite...but i bought fries and coke..and i'm sure you'll smack me and scold me upside down..cause i took a bit of 2 fries and a sip of drink..and i didn't eat anything for the rest of the day in fact..the last meal for me was when you fed me lunch before you left. I'm sorry, but i was too down...traces of you are everywhere.. But i'm trying to behave now...i'll be good...i'll take care of myself... Cause it made me realised that i don't want you to be worry over me & i know it's not possible for you to come save me if i faint..as if you're able to do so, we'll be laughing right now....but you're there & i'm here... I never fail to look up the sky whether it's day or night..and think..we're under the same sky...but i wonder what you're doing at that same moment, remember how you tell me to take in the nature and appreciate it when i feel lost, well i took your advice...won't work everytime but it's still a temporary cure. I feel so breathless when you're not around. I'm addicted to you. i got so much happiness from you and it had to pause for a while.. i take him as a trial for both of us from him... like what you saide.."hope faith will be on our side".
I hope you're doing fine and taking care of yourself too. Love you Dear. :)
Trying to be stronger now, really trying...it's a bit difficult, but my tears is drying up...or at least my eyes needs a break.. All i want is to stay well and fill myself with the happy memories. I'm still waiting for news, but patience is a virtue right?
I'm glad i got 2 days MC, but now i'm wondering am i really sick till the Doc gave me 2 days instead of 1? i'm thankful, but he gave me antibiotics, said my tonsils is big, told me to get more rest. I've like panadol, antibiotics, lozenges, flu med. He even emphasize on me having to finish the antibiotics, every single bite of it! But i' think curing myself mentally is a priority now... Curing myself emotionally fully...is a bit impossible now...as he's my only cure! So Dear..better hunt me and claim me back!
Been sleeping it off, but giving pretentious smiles is really tiring... and being down is tiring too.
So till i'm better, yall take care of yourself.
Signing off,
Nur Hida Sulaiman Property of Mohd Fadli Ibrahim.
