I can't turn myself numb for him, but i'm literally numb for anything else...
i was one who don't listen to malay songs or whatsoever, but you told me for you at times, the songs literally explains what you feel or feeling... So you send me this, and i got addicted to this till now...
You always accompanied me through the journey to work with me, lunch with me, even intercom during office hours... you were there for me the whole day. WE knew the day will come, we knew the day will separate us and it did. SO May 16 came, even though it was time, after lunch, you still wanted to send me back to office. Before you left, you told me not to be sad, being me i told you, i've no reason to be happy... but for you i'll stay strong.
oh..it was a full moon last night. YOU WERE RIGHT, DEAR! & so you said it will be the full moon who will company me through the night, it did...but it's still too far..
You've became my habit, a habit that last 24/7, there for me once i'm awake. Always out with you, hp is always busy with you, i love it when you will be texting me and expects an answer from me... i love your concern over me. I knew we had limited time left, so i didn't really care and just wanted to spend the whole time with you not caring about any consequences, but you read through me, you knew i was shagged, you knew i've reach my limit... But again i didn't mind, cause till you come back to me in a roughly a year's time..that will be my time to rest. When i had any complaints about work, you'll always be there to listen and pump me up with more confidence...
Even yesterday, in the office, i couldn't allow myself to stop working or NOT do anything, cause my mind will be flooded with you...expecting a call from your desk. I was very uneasy, till the point i almost crack when i was serving customer, but i just had to stop and let myself crack later...after work, when i'm safely home. You're a habit which i've no complaints about.
You tried to go the easy way, and bear all the pain to yourself by trying to leave me first... but it didn't work! I'm able to read through you as much as you're able to read through me. You dared to love again, due to me... i found love due to you... no excuses, as i think i've found love in you. I promise you i'll be good, i'll take care of myself, i'll stay over @ AE for at least a year, so you'll know where to find me, for you i'll behave.
Insya-allah we'll be together again. Insya-allah we're meant for each other, insya-allah, i'll wait for you, insya-allah you'll find me.
I thought i was mentally prepared, and i was....i am, but i didn't got myself emotionally prepared...
A year from now, we both got the same dream and hope that only has you & me.
My only solution now, is to numb myself with work keeping myself busy... I told you you will excel if you had the chance, i'm gonna try, i'll stable myself, give myself a chance to even try harder. I can't continues any further..
It's a holiday, i wonder what you're up to now...& i know you're wondering the same too..
Mohd Fadli Ibrahim, i love you. Please remember our deal. Till then, good luck to both you & me, hope it will be smooth journey till the end and soon enough we'll be back in each other's arms.
Signing off,
Nur Hida Sulaiman.
5:28 PM
Nur Hida !
young as i wanna be / 29/11/hater / proud / nice / friendly / Proud Saggitarius/ Simply Not Available, My heart is numb.(:
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Simply Me
I'm one who have said things and done things...Been proven right, been proven wrong, still learning about life... Wants the best out of most things... Loves the people around me.. Make them upset and you'll be hearing from me!
Fun Facts !
They prove to be a good friend and always help the person in need. They expect nothing in return. This quality in them keeps no one annoyed with them for too long.
They are fun loving and boundaries often denies them of happiness. They are quite moody and react to the same situations differently due to their moods. They are a mixed blend of humor, intellect and honesty. They are fun loving and it is difficult to keep them concentrated on a single situation for too long.They are innocent and speak up what is in their mind. They seem to be a little confused. They speak out harshly unintentionally making the person offended.
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