Dear,
How weird is it when from monday to thursday i look so forward to friday, but when it's finally friday..i feel so down instead. I MISS YOU!!! I miss you bringing me out, anywhere i want to go, you'll bring me & you said you'll do anything and go anywhere with me and for me... You'll never leave me bored, you'll keep me company and then send me home... Even though i didn't manage to always entertain you when you are bored, you'll always entertain me... you'll try to cheer me up... even if it's just going for dinner after work...i love it so much cause i have you as my company. I wanna watch a movie so bad, but you're not here to bring me out, you're not here to bring me to shop, you're not here to drag me along with you to shop... you're not here to have my meals with me. Speaking of meals, now when i have company around me i'll just stuff whatever to fill my stomach, but when i'm alone i don't think i'll do the same. You get what i mean? I miss you checking on me when i'm out... even when i'm out with mummy, you'll still check on me...asking me why i'm not home yet...where am i exactly...who am i with...even when it's not even 8, you'll still check on me asking me why i'm not home yet... I miss you continuously texting me asking me why i'm not replying....i miss you so much. Remember how we say we as Saggitarius has this stubborn or kinda cool personality, where we won't be obsessive over our partner...but somehow..we got so obsessive and possessive with each other, when i went home alone...you told me to zip up my jacket and make sure that i go home straight, when i'm out with my mum to cwp, you say there got many-many the same race..then later people will smile-smile and look at me... i don't mind reporting to you...letting you know where i'm going or where i've been and who i am with... I'll get jealous over the ladies surrounding you... especially those that purposely gets close to you... We used to play that jealousy game so much that it reaches the point when i got really upset... But you'll always give me your attention... I really miss your company... I'm so dependent on you. Besides you, i don't know else to turn to... Abang's birthday is on Monday... i ready told him yesterday then i'm meeting my friend today... then he step-majuk and say "i don't care..my birthday you follow me go out! i wana go drink..." i think you can imagine the way he talk... felt bad though..usually..this time of mth..especially on fridays..we'll always go out with abang...go eat.... Dear, you'll be happy to know that indirectly even abang is looking out for me on your behalf! Before i met my friend..he told me to cover up..and zip up my jacket...Cinderella is keeping an eye on me too! She won't let me stare or look at any cute guys for too long..she'll turn to me..and say.."hey! i tell 110 ar...!" Dear....AE loves you lots...you've wonderful colleagues... Dear, i've kinda sort my thoughts out for now.. i think i'll stay at AE for max 2 years..then probably after that i may intend to turn to the hotel line. I told Cind that probably if god willings...insyallah when you;re back..a few mths after..i'll be leaving AE soon after that.. i really wish you could hear my thoughts out now..and tell me and give me words of encouragement. You;re the only one who went all out for me...giving me the attention that i need...
i'm down...i'm trying to fill my days up especially the wk-ends... but it's so difficult to get company.. thinking if a new activity would help. i need a talk...i just nd someone who'll listen and then flush out whatever emo thoughts i've said out.... led me thinking have i been a good company/listening ear to anyone... or wasn't i not good/sincere enough that i'm not able to get the same company... i'm done. i ain't forcing... even if the world turns their back on me... i still gotta keep myself happy..even if everything is just a facade... The part where i hate most about me...i can;t be alone..or left alone..i hate the sucky feeling.
keeping myself on track..no matter what i still have to be strong when my friends need me.. i need them to cheer up..before i could. I really know how you feel now..i really...reallly do..
Signing off,
Nur Hida Sulaiman
