Monday, March 31, 2008
Im in Gring-Gring Land!!!
HELP!!!!! GDNESS.....k...2dae..is e 1st dae....of my kithchen gettin destroyed!!!
IM currently hiding in the room...cant stand...e gring2 noise...blasting e rm...wif music...currently listenin to Low by Flo Rida now its 2:05pm...was told e destroying will only take 1 hour....argg!!!! im thirsty....
my bros r so lucky tat they are outta of e house me unfortunately got 2 stay home...n keep mum conpany..jus in case anitin happens...haha...
how am i gonna stand e noise....!!!! n the old dude..in charge of destroyin my kithchen...stop askin 4 beer man!!!....my mum wont serve u tat...though if it was my bro... ___________________________________ .
haha...aniwae...im like errr...i dun noe...bored...tot of wathcin online movies...but its simplt too noisy 4 me to concentrate..wanted 2 watch tv outside...but wth..if im ready in e room and i cant stand e noise..imagine me being in e livin room...!!!!
11:04 PM
Sunday, March 30, 2008
ooh....
K...i feel so lost,not knowin wen to start updatin...
Basically last week,i've been kinda busy...mostly wif stuff at home.Gdness...its tiring.
Aniwae...i met up wif baiz last wk,she accompanied me to town 4 a while...thanx gurl!!! sorry though left u halfwae... I had to head down to tamp,to mit my family,as bro wants to get new tv & PS3.... Also went down to the Ikea & Courts Tamp to get me a new bed...whee...
Geez,cant remember what i did for the last few days.
Rite...aniwae...ever since...e house has been turned upside downs..a lot of childhood & even sec sch madness was found....
My bro dig up a few of my baby pics & .... Imagine me,my 2nd&3rd bro were rushin peepin at each other baby pics juz 4 future scandals/threats... Stupid i noe...but hey...tatz wad u call Sibling Luv i guess.....
Aniwae,on sat i went to ride the Sg Flyer wif my 2nd bro,it was fun but kinda akward for me. hEHE,,,knowin my bro attitude and lookin at my face,wen it cumz to tis kinda stuff... my bro bought e express service.
What's the diff between the express service & e basic one. Hmm...if i speak like a typical teenager...this is how i'll say it... "If you wish to know how a spoilt rich and pampered brat feels like,please go ahead and take the express service,its's worth it."
However,if i wish to speak like a person who has a special interest in Sg tourism industry,This is how i'll say it,"Sg may be small,but when it comes to service its excellent standards are able to match up to the higher standards in the rest of the world.The Biggest Flyer in the world is not being set up in Sg for nothing.Thumbs up to you Sg! You have a bright future,i don't even have any doubts on your future success in the upcoming IR."
nOW im back to myself...i tell u...i was reali impressed...its like there was tis big bunch of youths who came b4 me n my bro n they were linin up in e Zig-Zag kinda queue...but then me n my bro thanx 2 e express tix...we were jus walk straight,we got in 1st....they even open a security counter jus 4 us..haizz...im touch..tank u!!!i reaki got excited...tell u frankly i tot i overcome my fear of heights,,,but then wen i got on to the flyer...n got the cabin all to me n my bro...i got cold feet...it was too slow...gdness...but frankly im dissapointed wif e night view....However the night scenery will improve once the IR and F1 starts...!!
aniwae...it was ok...TO THE LOVERS OUT THERE....BUY E EXPRESS TIX & RIDE E SG FLYER....IT WILL BE ONE OF UR BEST MOMENTS!!to those who r officially 18,add sum $$ n u may get a 2 cups of cocktail champagne..n if u're nice enuf roses for ur luved one..!! It may be expensive...but tink abt it..its worth it...if u wish to have a delightful experience...!!! it may even be better than a candle-lite dinner!!
some may reali tink its not worth it...but in view and in support of e Local Hospitality & Tourism Industry,i assure you that it will not only be worthwhile but also a delgihtful moment of your life.Trust me.
Aniwae...tatz e most i can remember..so ya...
i miss my donuts n cookies...
n wow...those cravin for cotton candy...go CHONG PANG e pasar mlm!!!
Madness in Madness,
UnsTabLe a.k.a Ida
9:08 PM
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
A Break...
12:36 AM
Friday, March 21, 2008
It's been fun living.
k...letz c...
lets start on 20-3-08
Itik's b-dae. Owe her a present. On e very same dae..i was dumb enuf to play wif my hp security pin n stuff...played2 till my sim card could no longer be read n got rejected by my hp. Called up customer service...n gosh i had to buy a new sim card. So...ya...i suffered for the 1st half of e dae wif no hp...went to shop wif no hp....EVEN HAD TO USE A PUBLIC PHONE...ANY IDEA WEN IS THE LAST TIME I USED IT!!!
movin on 21-3-08
went out wif baiz...to get her sis a adidas jacket...went novena...to the adidas outlet...N GOSH SALE PPL!!!...got sale..oso..me n baiz were shocked a lil by e price..
i took a liking to one of the brown jacket..
hehe...me n baiz...were walkin arnd the whole store jus wonderin was r e prices of e jacket..
aniwae...hehe..baiz treat at donut factory!!! swit...thanz for the TREATs BAIZ!!!
had a funny/fun/crazy/vain dae,,,
so ya..
k...mitin ain soon...so gonna get ready...if not i'll be late as always.
Ignore the negativity of life. Always start your day with a smile.
When you are down,never think that you are alone,there's is always someone who could be in the same sad/dead zone you're in. Lighten your burden and do what you think is best for you.
Signing off,
Ida a.k.a UnsTabLe.
9:37 PM
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Coming Soon....
1stly wanna offer my condolences to my aunt/uncle as their mum/mum-in-law pass away todae.
Didnt follow go kubur as got to like halo...REGISTER FOR SCH!!!!!
2ndly..i hate my nose...the mucus never stop flowin...its ruinin my appetite,..so diff 4 me to eat..as my nose is block so i breathe through my mouth..n sumhow..im am not ablt to eat/chew and breathe at the same time..so sucky...gosh..if dun get well soon..cunfirm later got fever...irritatin!!!! ARGG!!!!!
finally...gosh...sch is so...so small..
went there abt 3 plus...not much ppl...saw some of my future potential classmates..like duh..majority malay...not bein racist...not even possible 4 me 2 b racist as im oso a MALAY. ok lah...cuz i smile they smile...so 2gather smile2..not bad lah... but i c all like got member...hmm...tink i nd find member oso..!!
oh wait i did..i got 1 member...hehe...e mak cik at e malay stall...i was thick-skinned enuf to ask e aunt to remember my face as im her future potential customer.gosh..she even said then if i dun buy from her stall...she will cum hantam me wif e periuk!!! went there wif my mum n uncle so like ya they were laughin...
i still cant deal wif e fact tat e SCH IS SO SMALL!!!! e hall..is totally no standard seh... duh2..hida2...bnyk complain ar... so register,,took pic 4 ez-link...then go buy uniform...hehe...i bought 2blue & 1 white top...e red 1 was like out of stock... hehe...bought black & dark blue skirt and oso e grey 1....didnt like e grey...but mum was like errr....jus get it..blah...blah...so ya... n wow e pe short mcm hip hop seh!!! e shirt colour nice...but 4 me like big seh...even though its small... e sch system is like so slow...haizz...only get to noe my class..on e 1st dae..so cunfirm like stupid2 later i find my name on e list..then stupid2 go hall... oh god..pls lah...bless me wif more frenz so i wont have a strong habit of tokin 2 myself.. haha...mum as usual..will comment...like askin me to choose e rite frens n blah..blah... tat i noe..not to worry...!!! duh...cannot be every1 hanyut rite...if every1 hanyut..sch close down sudah!!! but so far..i c e ppl all e not bad lah... except...tat...if ppl call me vain... some of e ppl i met r like e QUEEN OF VAINNESS!! i mean seriously like wen they were tryin e uniform they were like does it match my skin....is it ok...is it too big.....blah..blah.... wadeva...hopefully startin of sch will be ok for me...n hopefully..i will at least make a few friends by e 1st dae...
ok..hehe...movin on...mum agreed to give me a certain budget...to buy my sch bag n shoes...hehe..but only in april ar... i reali wan to buy TAT CONVERSE SHOES...hehe..sch sae shoe muz be at least 90% black..hehe... i c many ppl go sch wif pump shoes...2 me its ok..but i tink i will go crazy more comfortably wif normal..sporty converse shoes... bag...bag....dun noe wad 2 buy...nike/billabong? both brands like no new design... TOTALLY GETTIN E NIKE BOTTLE..but dun noe which design yet!!! april cum nearer...cant wait to go shopping!!!
n oh ya...baiz...regardin e sundae outing jus update me...but usual advance warnin pls...woohoo!!!
Positively Mad,
MenTaLLy UnsTabLe.
3:17 AM
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
I've got rid of it.....
im back,,,,yup..im back...gotten rid of the stupidity and -ve wadeva crap.. haha...i admit i was goin through a dumb moment..but ya..wadeva..im back..at least i tink i;ve got rid of e negativity!!!
Aniwae....1stly...e pics rite..i so diD NOT cut myself..i mean i did lah...but it wasnt on purpose i swear,,,it jus happens tat i broke my glass...n i got a minor cut tatz all....hehe...e 3 pics...shows my hp camera standard...e 1st one was wif flash....2nd one normal...the 3rd one wif nite mode..not bein saddistic jus bored..
haha..aniwae,,,happy belated b-dae to my 2nd bro..i owe u a present...i so wanted to get e gorilla cup for u..but they no longer have it...totally stupid!!! n happy advanced b-dae to itik!!!!
aniwae...gosh...ppl..i went tamp on sun n gdness lah...CONVERSE WAS HAVIN A SALE...damn it lah...got tiz brown shoe n (black & pink) sleeveless jacket wif hoody so nice for gdness sake...wanted 2get mum 2 get it 4 me...but segan lah..tat dae suppose 2 get present for bro..not my shoppin spree!!
aniwae...ya...sch goin 2 start soon...n im already plannin 2 go get a new bag,shoes n pencil box,n bottle!!! tink a stationary shopping is oso needed!!!lets c...tinkin of gettin converse shoes n bag...well mayb for the bag i'll get nike or even billabong...gosh...ppl..who noes of a HOT bag,,,,tell me aite..oh ya...im in need of a new wallet too...gosh...y e hell am i excited for sch... hmm...
aniwae..speakin of sch..tmr is like my registration...not exactly excited...as i dun exactly noe any1 there...hehe,..like duh......but wth..i totally wanna move on...
wadeva it is...ya..haha....wadeva...*laughin 2 myself* (pls ignore).
MenTaLLy UnsTabLe.
6:22 AM
Monday, March 17, 2008
A New Change/Beginning?
I am getting better but still losing myself. My only way for cure is to distract myself.
5:46 AM
Saturday, March 15, 2008
The Feeling of Faint.....
A picture paints a thousand words.
It also helps to make a story short.
I have to admit i am tired...
But i don't know how to lose this tiredness.
Sleep?? I tried..
It's gettin more obvious...
A friend ask me if i am ok..
I smiled...
But the truth is i am tired...
I really am...
Even my mum...
I got to control myself...
Sometimes i really feel how i could just faint right on that spot when i feel serious exhaustion.
And then wake up feeling all....myself again.
I want to scream.... I want to faint...
But i wont be foolish...
I believe in myself...to go through this...
No matter what...i will be back on my feet again...
Even if i am not 100% ok..i will be when i am around the people i love and care as i don't deserve to be a burden to them. Although they will voluntarily always be there for me. Sorry that i am not able to open myself up to you... Its just that i want to get through this myself...it's all the things that is going around my head and emotions... Whatever you call this...being "emo". Trust me even i think that my emotions currently is crap.
I miss my own laughters and smiles.
Nur Hida.....wherever you are,come back.
I am starting to miss myself.
7:22 AM
Friday, March 14, 2008
How Life or Simply Myself is Crazy....
Surroundings and the people around you affects your behavior and mindset.This could be due to the power of influence. Reflect on your life and sometimes you do realize that when you are around a certain group of people,you are simply different...you are not being yourself. There's no need to think so far,just try to remember your first day of school,you felt uncomfortable as there isn't really anyone who knows you. This will cause you to have a bit more control on yourself, you are restricting yourself on showing your true personality. As the fear of people's opinions affects you as you know that those will be the people who will somehow be part of your lives for the next few years.
However soon,when you start to make friends,your personality grew stronger and you feel more and more comfortable. You then start to be full of yourself.
Life is simply a rocky road,as when we are being placed in e same scenario however filled with different characters,we react the same way. People say like is life a box of chocolates, you'll never know what you will get. However for me i think life is like a box of Chocolate ice cream, in e same way you'll never know what kinda chocolate is in the ice cream,then in the ice cream there's a variety of taste...and when you eat too much you will get a brain freeze and this reflects on the negative sides/stories of your life.
The ice cream story may be a bit too deep. The simpler version is that life is like a box of jellybeans,you'll never know what flavor/color of jellybean you'll get. When you're lucky you'll get the best but once you run out of luck...you'll get the most bitter jellybean of you life. Its a way to remind us that life isn't always sweet.
im still trying to get back on track,keepin my positive outlook of life.i reali dun noe y but im simply losin myself...im typin tiz down as i no longer wish to store it in my brain....
i need time...i WILL REGAIN MY TRUE SELF. im simply like the computer which simply got attack by a virus...and jus wish to be re-boot again....and simply restart myself... except unlike the comp who has a owner.. i have to be both the doc and patient
i dun wanna trouble ppl to diagnose me or even counsel me...as i simply go crazy...as this is jus simple me who wish to keep it simple....
Note to self: reali got to take care of my left leg...it hurts wen i walk too fast...its pain is simply unberable...dun wanna go back to e world of pills...painkillers...wadeva...
crappy shit!!!
Simply a Girl who is Suffering From a Breakdown.
Who don't wish to take it to town.
Where everybody has a frown.
And wishes to take the crown.
Signing off,
Nur Hida.
5:59 AM
Thursday, March 13, 2008
UnWanTed Pressure
Going on Life Knowing Your Own Weaknesses & Strengths.
Weakness or even fears can be overcome but no matter what,you will still possessed a weakness as nobody is perfect. So no matter how much strength or confidence you have in yourself something will still trigger your fear & when that trigger happens it will affect you really bad leaving you all empty.
This trigger does not always happens,it only happens when you have reach your limit and you simply lost your mind. Can happen at any age,its just that when you're still young and even during your teenage years the trigger will have a bigger impact on your life but then usually teens are able to get through this much more easier as people are much more understanding as to them it's only a teen who is going through puberty or even someone who is just trying to grow up.
Strengths.
The pillar of your life. The way you live your life & even the beliefs you have in life. Certain challenges have to be overcome before you are able to possess this unique strengths.When you have the strength you feel great,a special feeling rush all over your body leaving you feeling great for the rest of the day. Possessing this strength creates your personality and even shows how much confidence you have in yourself. Therefore how a person makes use of this strength decides what a kind of person he or she is. In a way the strengths that you possessed creates your personality,this also depends on how you make use of your strengths.
Possessing a strength does not mean that you have to showcase your strength every single time as by doing that you are only displaying your own insecurities.By making it a need for yourself to showcase your strength every single time even though there's no need for it will only show how you crave for attention and wishes to be noticed. Strengths are only meant to be displayed when the need arises. You will only look great or in fact appear "awesome" when you display your strengths at the right time.
Reflections.
Weaknesses that i Possessed.
- Expecting myself to meet every1's(e ones that i care a lot)standards/expectations even though it maybe too much for me to handle.
- I am not able to have people in my everyday life to dislike/hate or even be angry with me for more than a day.
- I am not able to keep my hatred/anger with a person for more than a day.
- When i have any negative feelings in me it affect me badly both emotionally & physically.This effect will be on me on e minimal duration of 3 days.
- I make it a need for me to make every1 i care abt happy even though by doing that i will cause hurt/exhaustion to myself.
- I'll force myself to pls a person even though the pressure given by that person is totally unwanted and the person's demands are too much.
- When i've reach a stage of exhaustion/limit i will simply break down and cause torture to myself and then go crazy.
A Simple Summary.
My weakness contradicts my strengths. I have wae more weaknesses than the 1s stated above its jus tat right now..i dun wish to state it out...
I've delete my previous bloggy...as i've lost myself,i feel exhaustion,i've reach my limit..
always thought myself to be e cheerful1 the 1 tat always has a smile on her face...
i was tat grl... but recently i lost track of tat grl... im feelin so sick....
eyebags gettin more obvious...
i may live life or i mayb tat cheerful grl in e dae...but in e end...i will lose track again..
im not tryin to be emo or wadeva...tryin 2 attract attention...
but e recent tings goin on...i dun even noe wad it is...but it triggers me ....
I need to get back on track...or at least in front of ppl i'll have to appear as if i am...
if anything appear wrong with me..dun bug me wif questions...as it will only affect me more,,,
9:10 PM
